Mr. P'body's Place

Playboy really tries to crack down images from their magazine that make it out on the Internet. That is not something they really stop though. Although some of the old stuff is hard to find. I have been looking for a certain girl from the Girls of the ACC issue. Her name was Amber York and I took several classes with her. I think I saw the issue once, but I wanted to get a jpeg of her. While I was writing this update I got some spam for People Contest. Playboy does tend to try and keep cool to the college crowd which is a very tough crowd to capture. A while back they did an article on our school's mascot (Buzz) that was of course funny as hell. And of course they try to remain hip to the new cyber culture with articles on webcam girls. The article is just funny when you read it. In many ways the website is much better than the magazine itself. In the current issue there is a pictorial on the 80s star Tiffany.

Lets just say that Tiffany really has seemed to have grown up since her days as a teen pop star in the 80s. Speaking of the 80s...Atlanta finally got an all 80s music station (105.3 FM). I am not a crazy 80s fan like some of my friends, but it is funny stuff to listen to. I changed the scale on my Weight Lost Chart to show a more dramatic effect. It was kinda strange to loose 8 pounds over a 4 day period, but I guess that is how it works. The Allupenya Fuck Pages are just that...nothing but lots of sick porn pages. Thanks to the guys over at Beer or Sex for plugging my ass. I am off to a Basketball game...you guys keep it real!

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A lot has happened in the past few days, unfortunately midterms are preventing me for elaborating on them much. This week is really jammed back full of stuff for me to do, and that really sucks. This site is the one of the biggest sources of procrastination for me. So I had planned on this weekend to get drunk. Let me just say that whenever I plan to get drunk, it never actually happens. I played broomball this weekend, that was fun. In other news, I got a scale and some Stacker 2 ®. I am gonna start to lose some weight and some fat, and I am gonna monitor my progress. And everyone else can monitor my progress as well by clicking here. I give a nice explanation of my reasons and methods there. I am off to study now I guess.

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Corey Feldman here again (some of you may remember me from the last time I was on here)...stepping in as Mr. P'body leaves for his 3 day drinking binge known to all of you as the weekend. Who knows if he will crawl out of bed in a drunken stupor to try and attempt an update. In any event, I am here to entertain you until his return. Now I am sure a lot of you are wondering what the greatest teenage actor of the 80s and early 90s could possibly entertain you with. I, Corey Feldman, am going to talk about the condom. Now don't be shocked and run away right yet. I am not going to lecture you about STDs or pregnancy or anything just as unwanted. We are just going to marvel in the splendor of all that is the condom. Now I have considerably more experience in the realm of sexual misconduct than a certain Mr. P'body based on the fact that I am a Hollywood star. I can't tell you how many times I got laid after my role as 'Mouth' in the Goonies. Let me just take this time to plug the sequel to that film, The Goonies II.

But let us get back to the topic at hand (that was not meant to be a pun). We are not going to discuss how to put a condom on, because if you didn't already know how to do it, you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Kinda common sense stuff. If you are using a condom in a wrong way, well you are just liable to hurt yourself. We are talking about the multiplicity of condoms available. Condoms come in many different shapes and sizes as well as a multitude of colors. There are many different brands of condoms and of course many different styles. You can now get condoms practically anywhere.

Now what does all this talk of condoms finally boil down too? TROJAN'S EXTENDED PLEASURE CONDOMS ARE OF THE DEVIL. THEY MAKE YOUR DICK GO LIMP. HOW THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSE TO BE MORE PLEASUREABLE? THEY SUCK!!! BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT, BOYCOTT!! Whew! Okay, I am done now...please enjoy the links.

Crazy Shitte
Human For Sale - Learn how much you are really worth
The Goonies.com - This site will save my acting career
Afrosquad - Man, I wish I had an afro

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I see a lot of strange things come across the pages at Deviantonline, but this next thing tops them all. You may want to turn your speakers up a little so you can hear it better. Check it out! Surprised? You should be... AOL is really being to pissing me off over the past few weeks. I use Trillian to mount all my instant messenger accounts together in one nice interface. AOL has been blocking Trillian users on the simple premise that they are losing money from the banner ads on AIM. Like anyone really clicks on those things. Go on over to Hunter's Place and help him figure out which one of the his cats he found dead. I think it is Graybo. This place has way too much porn. Numbness just recently got a new layout and man does it look demonic. Are you gonna turn 62 any time soon? Well if you, you can sacrifice a ram. When I was in high school, the boys and girls seperated and the football coach would talk to us guys about the birds and the bees. But I must say it was never like this. Oh yeah, my place has gotten overrun by ants, and I have gotten bitten twice this evening (explains the pic).

Joke o' de day (Southern Style)

A farmer in Alabama was driving across a bridge in his pickup truck when he noticed a man standing on the rail of the bridge ready to jump to his death in the river below. The man stopped his truck, ran up to the man, and said, "Hey, Fellow, why are you doing this?" The man replied, "Well, I have nothing to live for." The Alabama man replied, "Well, think of your wife and children!" The jumper replied, "I have no wife or children." The Alabama man then said, "Well, then think of your mother and father!" The man replied, "Mom and Dad passed on many years back." The Alabama man then said, "Well, think of General Robert E. Lee!" The would-be jumper replied, "Who?" With that the Alabama man said, "Jump, you stupid Yankee! Jump!"

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First of all, let me apologize for putting up the wrong URL for Nostaljack in the last update...that is what you get for not proof-reading your post I guess. My girlfriend found some new hosting after the recent change of ownership of Envy.nu (the place has banners on its free service...booo). Ironically she got her space from the roommate of the friend who is hosting my site. Small world huh? We had a good Valentine's Day, but I am not gonna rub everyone's faces in it...so I will keep it short. We went to Watershed. We danced the night away. Rented some videos from Blockbuster. And can figure out what happened next. In any event....I am really drunk right now after playing some trivia at the local pizza place. A couple of the guys who were there playing are computer science majors and are good friends. The great thing is that they both have websites. You can check them out here and here. Of course the site are on their personal servers and are up half the time. I am always in search of cool backgrounds, and this place has some cool ones (Thanks Jacob). I have really become a fan of Big Dark Cloud over the past couple days. I can't believe all the porn they have at this place. This dog probably best represents my current state. Thanks to Mike for all the crazy pics of the dog. I am really wasted right now...I need to go to sleep, but first I need to hit some people up.

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Well I am sick....and I have no clue what I have. I guess I must have caught it from Retnuh. I am changing up the site a bit. No longer any buttons in the links section. I am not done updating all the links in there either. From now on, if I ever reference someone, they will be put in there. Of course in my extremely anal nature, I put them all in alphabetical order. I am such a dork. I also added this site to a couple of those cool top site lists. Freak Farm 51 has a lot of sites that have porn and some content. The IWANGF 50 has sites with good content and some porn. And finally there is the Allupenya 30 has just copious amounts of porn. I think that is all the internet is about at time. At least the whole E/N community is turning that direction. If you don't mention that you have some porn, no one will visit your site. Of course I do have some porn in the Media Gallery.

Sad Valentine's Day Story taken from freegreymatter

So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. his nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.

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What have I been up to for the last week or so? Doing lots of crap, that is what. Interspersed with the crap I have been thinking. Here are some of my recent thoughts, but before you get totally lost in my thoughts, you might want to check out the new "Crankine Column".

Biblical and Biological Argument for Conflict

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. You couldn't find a better beginning to one of the world's most told stories. God also created Adam and later Eve. After their exile from Eden, they had the wonderful job of populating the earth.

Now based on principles of biology we are already starting with a small population and a limited gene pool. Mutation and death rate should have been rampant in the early years of Adam and Eve's stay on earth. Significant number of acts of inbreeding should have occurred. Despite all of this, humanity continued to progress for several thousand years more.

Until of course the great flood came. Of course it was up to Noah and his Ark that saved humanity and the many species of terrestrial animals. Of course with Noah was his sons and their wife's. In biological terms this is known as a bottleneck and is characterized by a dramatic decrease in the population size so that only a small portion of the remaining gene pool is still represented.

What does this all mean? We are just redneck backwoods folk stuck in a feud with each other. Face it, based on the Bible, we are related....we have been inbreeding for thousands of years. Then any conflict is just an extended family feud. The reason why we have conflicts is because were such rednecks we lack the intelligence to resolve our issues in a civil way. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and I am just enjoy my view from lawn chair in front of my mobile home.


Don't forget, tomorrow is National Pancake Day and free pancakes at IHOP. Have a nice day. :)

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Which drink are you?

At first you might be asking yourself, "What in the hell is a Mojito?" Well I asked the same questions, and I got the answer. I think I will have to try it sometime. I think that college drove me to drink. Back in when I began college, I thought I could withstand the pressures of drinking. I made it all the way past my 21st birthday. Then just one day I thought, "Why am I not drinking?" And that started my downward spiral. Now I drink practically all the time. Is that a bad thing?

Joke o' de day
There was a loser who couldn't get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, "It's simple. I just say, I'm a lawyer." So the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said "No," he told her that it was probably a good thing because he had a case early in the morning. She said, "Oh!!!! Your a lawyer?" He said, "Why... Yes I am!"

So they went to his place and when they were in bed, screwing, he started to laugh to himself. When she asked what was so funny, he answered, "Well, I've only been a lawyer for 15 minutes, and I'm already screwing someone!"

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Forget the Snap-On Tools truck; it's never there when you need it. Besides, there are only ten things in this world you need to fix any car, any place, any time.

1. Duct Tape: Not just a tool, a veritable Swiss Army knife in stickum and plastic. It's safety wire, body material, radiator hose, upholstery, insulation, tow rope, and more in one easy-to-carry package. Sure, there's a prejudice surrounding duct tape in concourse competitions, but in the real world everything from LeMans - winning Porsches to Atlas rockets - uses it by the yard. The only thing that can get you out of more scrapes is a quarter and a phone booth.

2. Vice-Grips: Equally adept as a wrench, hammer, pliers, baling wire twister, breaker-off of frozen bolts, and wiggle-it-till-it-falls off tool. The heavy artillery of your toolbox, Vice Grips are the only tool designed expressly to fix things screwed up beyond repair.




3. Spray Lubricants: A considerably cheaper alternative to new doors, alternators, and other squeaky items. Slicker than pig phlegm. Repeated soakings of WD-40 will allow the main hull bolts of the Andrea Dora to be removed by hand. Strangely enough, an integral part of these sprays is the infamous little red tube that flies out of the nozzle if you look at it cross-eyed, one of the ten worst tools of all time.



4. Margarine Tubs With Clear Lids: If you spend all your time under the hood looking for a frendle pin that caromed off the peedle valve when you knocked both off the air cleaner, it's because you eat butter. Real mechanics consume pounds of tasteless vegetable oil replicas, just so they can use the empty tubs for parts containers afterward. (Some, of course, chuck the butter-colored goo altogether or use it to repack wheel bearings.) Unlike air cleaners and radiator lips, margarine tubs aren't connected by a time/space wormhole to the Parallel Universe of Lost Frendle Pins.


5. Big Rock At The Side Of The Road: Block up a tire. Smack corroded battery terminals. Pound out a dent. Bop nosy know-it-all types on the noodle. Scientists have yet to develop a hammer that packs the raw banging power of granite or limestone. This is the only tool with which a "made in India" emblem is not synonymous with the user's maiming.


6. Plastic Zip Ties: After twenty years of lashing down stray hoses and wired with old bread ties, some genius brought a slightly slicked up version to the auto parts market. Fifteen zip ties can transform a hulking mass of amateur-quality rewiring from a working model of the Brazilian rain forest into something remotely resembling a wiring harness. Of course, it works both ways. When buying used cars, subtract $100.00 for each zip tie under the hood.


7. Ridiculously Large Standard Screwdriver With Lifetime Guarantee: Let's admit it. There's nothing better for prying, chiseling, lifting, breaking, splitting, or mutilating than a huge flat-bladed screwdriver, particularly when wielded with gusto and a big hammer. This is also the tool of choice for oil filters so insanely located they can only be removed by driving a stake in one side and out the other. If you break the screwdriver - and you will, just like Dad or your shop teacher said - who cares? It's guaranteed.


8. Bailing Wire: Commonly known as MG muffler brackets, bailing wire holds anything that's too hot for tape or ties. Like duct tape, it's not recommended for concourse contenders since it works so well you'll never replace it with the right thing again. Bailing wire is a sentimental favorite in some circles, particularly with MG, Triumph, and flathead Ford set.


9. Bonking Stick: This monstrous tuning fork with devilishly pointy ends is technically known as a tie-rod-end separator, but how often do you separate tie-ends? Once every decade, if you're lucky. Other than medieval combat, its real use is the all purpose application of undue force, not unlike that of the huge flat-bladed screwdriver. Nature doesn't know the bent metal panel or frozen exhaust pipe that can stand up to a good bonking stick. (Can also be used to separate tie-rod ends in a pinch, of course, but does a lousy job of it).


10. A Quarter and a Phone Booth: (See #1 above.)

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Today is the day we find out what the weather is really going to do for the rest of winter. And this prediction is not made by the head weather forecaster at your local news station. Hell no! It is made by an over-grown animal related to the rat. If the thing see his shadow, 6 more weeks of winter. If not, well then it is going to be any early spring. Why can't the animal make predictions on other days of the year? Why does the groundhog have the staple of the 2nd of February? Why can't other animals make predictions too? Muskrat in March. Aardvark in April. Mountain Lions in May...and so on and so forth. Let's face it, animal predictions based on them seeing their shadow is far superior to that of the modern day computers and Doppler radar. Whatever the reason, Americans have been keeping up with this tradition for over 125 years or so. So in case you are wondering, Punxsutawney Phil sees six more weeks of winter. However, if you live in the Deep South, you might want to take the prediction of General Lee who says we are going to have an early spring.

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